WHO AM I ?

“Who am I?” This is one possible question I keep asking myself, not because I don’t have biological parents or I resemble a Russian face (my friends tell me this). But because I am aware of my ancestral surname I am sometimes in an immense doubt -- where have my ancestors come from? Some theories suggest that Rawat (my surname) are the descendents of Rajput rulers who ruled Rajasthan (then Rajputana) post migration from the Russian steppes. This happened in 2nd century AD; almost two thousand years have passed. However this theory further suggests that we are probably the descendants of Scythians who belonged to a warrior class. They had their presence everywhere in whole of Central Asia. Scythians are often confused with Persians, but this may be a wrong notion considering the fact that Darius I conquered their territory and this is how they came under Persian rule. I may be wrong though, but how can I leave my traditions behind? Silly question one may say. It’s a hard fact to digest but I have never felt like an Indian -- I don’t know why. This is one of my true confessions. My heart always wanders in the Russian and Central Asian steppes, and when I see these two places, it starts beating faster and an unknown supernatural attention compels me to pay my visit once before I pass on. Probably because my forefathers have left their trails behind, the feeling and sense of belonging is still very much within me.

No one from my family feel this way like I do. If I tell them my love for that lost land, they may label me stupid and my friends will call me a traitor. But these political divisions do not deter me, and this does not mean that I do not express my feelings towards ancestral home! I am sure my forefathers lived there. One may say I am an idiot to peep into historical happenings, besides reading history is wastage of time. What ever it may be; I do not belong to those hypocrite groups who boast of a secular India and then fight in the name of religion. I believe my deeds are justified and genuine and I do not intend communal imbalance but only intend to identify my origin…