Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Similarities



Drake, before plunging into water with his surfboard asked me, “Hey mom, do I resemble you or father?” Unsurprised by my son’s obvious question, it is natural inquisitiveness of any five years old to knowing his similarities with parents. I suddenly realise that the feeling is inexpressible to watch your child grow up resembling you and more thrilling when he/she resembles both the parents -- I feel thrilled because I don’t resemble my parents. His question left me clueless and suddenly reminded me how I constantly nagged my parents leaving them unanswered with such questions. I was adopted…I, therefore did not understand how do I answers to my son’s innocent question!

I was two year old when my parents adopted me from an orphanage in Russia. And it was not until I had the capacity to understand the cycle of birth and death, did they unravel the truth of my adoption. I thank my parents to have brought me away from that abysmal dwelling, which kept me undernourished – they (mom and dad) made me plump after taking me home. Obviously, being a Russian, my hair was blonde yellow, my eyes were blue and my face was round and high cheek. My parents were both brunette with hazel and bigger eyes but not blue and long straight nose; my appearance nowhere resembled them. I still remember, as a six year old when I first time questioned about my origin, disturbed my mom enormously. Both some how brought me into confidence that I resembled dad and always treated me as their own baby to never let the fact of adoption come in discussion. But it was me who in spite of constant verification of belonging to them, every third day I would come up with the same doubt. I desperately wanted to match myself with them. “Why don’t I resemble you both, whereas all my friends do match with their parents”, I once wept saying this line. The day, when I was finally informed that I hail from the Ural Mountains, I could not but stop crying at the generosity (they were generous to bring me with them) of my parents. But who were my biological parents? This was the unquenchable quest for which I travelled all the way to the dingy Russian orphan house. My search was all in vain. But today, if I find them, I would never go back, after all I was abandoned only to be away from them.

My son calls out to me, “Mom, look, with my wet hair, I am really looking like you. Isn’t it?” I kiss his forehead, “of course you are like me son, and afterall you are ‘my’ child.” I thank him having answered his query all by himself. Now I feel relaxed knowing there is someone who resembles me, has blue eyes, blonde hair and is chubby cheeked!



Mind Your Etiquettes...


Whoever says beauty is skin deep, must have forgotten to change its relevant meaning with time. Earlier, no matter what a working mother’s dress sense was or her office etiquettes, priority was given to who possessed right skills with her work profile.

But, time changes; so does office etiquettes. Today, office etiquettes are not only about proper dress sense but also about various factors that a mom must avoid in the office. ‘A woman is’, most men feel, ‘god’s creation who can’t stop talking.’

From Paneer tikka to Politics… the talks are never ending. And if this continuous ‘talk talk’ happens in a workplace, things can become edgy, particularly if it violates the tolerance level of some employees working at the same place.
So, here are few things one needs to keep in mind:
Discussing about the personal life in the office is a strict no. It shows lack of interest towards work. Besides, lack of professionalism crops up and it may cast a wrong impression on the seniors. It’s always better to chat at places like cafeteria or canteen; lunch break is the ideal time to get across to the colleagues. That helps to harmonise working relations as well as doesn’t disturb anyone.

“But, I would say that even here, some kind of restrictions must be administered.” says, Internationally acclaimed Corporate Trainer and Motivational Speaker, Minocher Patel.
Being a professional, one must respect timeliness. It’s a virtue that has a positive impact on a person’s professional life.

Coming late to office spells a bad impression and deprives one from being regarded as professional. Many come late or leave for home early and give excuses that they have a family or a baby to look after. Or keep calling her hubby or children ten times a day, spending most of her day --- this looks unprofessional and people think that there is lack of interest in her. Always keep in mind, if the boss or senior has asked to wait after office hours for some work ---- avoid frowning faces and stop frequent phone calls (it also saves time). Remember, punctuality counts and one has to be perceived as a professional.

A new mom must keep in mind that office will not pay heed to her issues and problems that she faces with the newborn child. This is truly distracting on work front. Either leave the job and take a break or manage to keep ‘care giver’ or nanny for the child. Adds Minocher, “I agree with this, but I have seen certain couple who earn Rs 70 to 80 thousand and still feel that they can’t afford a nanny, because its too expensive. They tend to juggle with baby and work. Is spending Rs 5000 really difficult for them? In foreign countries, people take break from work for their child.”
So, the bottom line is: There will be problems related to the newborn, but never combine it with professionalism. After all there is professional protocol also. Dividing life into compartments is essential.

Dress sense is another problem area that a working mother often faces. Friday is the day where sporting tight jeans and tight t-shirts define comfort (which is untrue). Clothes are either too tight or ill fit to the body. Skin show and transparent dresses is equally distracting. Even in official meetings, proper dress is a must be it Western or Indian formals.

Wear what suits the body and never follow fashion blindly. Avoid a dress that leads to unwarranted attention and could be distracting for others in the workplace. Therefore, explosives stuffs must be avoided for the office and think about area’s sensitivity.